In My Veins
by WonderTwinC
Summary: A series of drabbles and ficlets that have no connection to each other except for the fact they they connect a certain Richard Castle to one Detective Katherine Beckett. These are not spoiler free.
1. 01

_and I can always find my way when you are here_

"I lost sight of you," she whispered softly.

Castle glanced up from where he was leaning against the wall of their hotel suite in LA. Ever since returning back to their room she had been quiet and for once he was respecting her wishes of silence.

Kate was sitting on the bed a few steps away, staring at her hands as though she was looking for some kind of answer.

He waited for her to continue, and after a few minutes went by, she did.

"This entire time I was caught up on Mike. I just... I felt this need to find out what had happened to him. Even after everything that had happened with the treasure and the betrayal... I had to know."

"Kate-"

"I lost sight of what really mattered and right when I could've lost myself... there you were at my side like it was no big deal. You're always there and I never really let you know how much I appreciate it... so thank you... for being here with me."

She looked over at him, offering up the same smile that he felt was reserved for himself and no one else. Castle smiled back, his posture relaxing.

"Always."


	2. 02

_the walk of life can take you down without a fight_

"Castle..." her voice is soft as she stands in the doorway of the room. He is just a few steps away, but she can't bring herself to cross the distance and touch him.

She hasn't touched him since they got out of the car and she doesn't know if either of them is ready for that kind of intimacy yet.

The loft is eerily quiet for this time of day and it only seems to make the truth hurt just a little more. He shifts in front of her and she knows what he is thinking because she knows what he is staring at.

"... I don't hate you," he whispers softly and it's the truth. He doesn't hate his partner. He never could. In this moment, however, Castle thinks that perhaps he could hate God. He probably even does, just a little bit.

He stares at the empty crib and wonders at how easily it all slipped away.


	3. 03

_just breathe_

Hearing the doctor say 'miscarriage' stole his breath away. Things had been delicate with her first pregnancy, but McKenzie had turned out fine and on time. He had noticed the differences this time, but he hadn't realized where it would all lead. This morning he had been joking around with Kate concerning baby names and now it was all irrelevant.

A hand pressed against his back and Castle turned, surprised to see Alexis standing behind him. She was supposed to be a few hours away at school and not here in New York. His daughter leaned into his side, giving him the best hug that she could manage at that angle.

"Esposito called. He said I should catch the first flight here that I could. Grams is on her way back too," she whispered softly. He nodded, always grateful for the friends he had gained through working with the NYPD. They always had his back even when he didn't realize it.

"I'm glad you came," he managed to get out after a few moments of searching for the right words. Everything still felt like it was going too fast and too slow all at the same time. Standing on her tip toes, Alexis pressed a gentle kiss to her father's cheek before pulling away.

"Mom needs you."

And as always, Castle went to Kate's side.


	4. 04

_you have stolen my heart_

"Castle!" the shriek echoed within the loft, promptly followed by heavy footsteps skidding on the hardwood floor. He was gaining on her and she had to get away. She just had to. Making a sharp turn, she started up the stairs at a fast pace, almost tripping once or twice on her way up. She could hear him gaining on her still and she had to wonder where he had learned to run so fast.

Just as she turned into the last bedroom at the end of the hallway she felt it. Kate barely managed to get three steps into the room before his body was slamming into hers and they were falling onto the bed in a tangled mess of limbs. His body was heavy on top of hers and she tried to get away when she felt his hands on her sides, but it was futile.

And then she was laughing and squirming and pressing against his body as he tickled her until she was almost in tears. The sound of his laughter mingled with hers for the next few minutes as he continued the assault on her body.

And then just as quickly as he had started it, he stopped.

Trying to catch her breath, Kate glanced up at Castle and was surprised to find that the look on his face wasn't playful, but instead serious.

"Castle? Something wrong?"

At first he didn't respond and she wondered if he was even paying attention. And then he said it.

"I love you."

It was the first time he had ever told her how he felt, even though she had known for months. Kate always wondered how she would respond if he said it to her, but the words came easily.

"You better, because I love you too."

Castle smiled down at her and then he was back to stealing her breath in a different way and she never wanted that to change.


	5. 05

_love speaks in silence_

He felt pathetic standing in front of the bathroom door, but he couldn't make his legs take him anywhere else. His chest was still burning from chasing after Kate just a mere two hours ago as they raced down alleys after the man who had murdered Royce.

Actually, everything was still aching.

His legs. His back. His feet. _His_ _heart_.

Kate had always managed to stay ahead of him. Always far enough away that he couldn't reach her, but he could see her and hear her and then suddenly she was out of his sight for a moment and he heard gun shots.

He was panting pathetically as he rounded the street corner, his chest heaving as he tried to scramble for a decent puff of air. Kate was on the ground covered in blood, just a few inches away from the man they had been chasing.

A single glance told Castle the man was dead and she was not.

Now, they are back in the hotel suite and she is in the shower and he can't seem to stop standing in front of the bathroom door listening to any sounds that he can hear. He gets nervous when it gets quiet. They stayed long enough for the L.A. cops to take over, but not long enough for the paramedics.

It doesn't take a genius, however, to realize that she has injuries. After being with her for three years he notices the slight differences and he can almost guess the problems himself. The silence continues from the other side of the door and he finally gets the nerve to knock.

"Beckett?"

He waits a moment before knocking again, this time a little harder than before.

"Beckett- Kate? Is everything alright in there?"

She still doesn't answer and he counts to three in his head before he opens the door. He can see her on the other side of the glass as she stands under the spray with her shoulders hunched and her head bowed down a little. She is somewhat pale and he knows that her memories are causing more pain than her injuries.

"... Kate?" his voice is soft this time, but somehow she hears him over the water and when her eyes meet his he feels himself break along with her.

"... what are you doing in here?" she asks quietly. She doesn't tell him to leave and she doesn't yell at him and that worries him more than anything. Castle would rather have her yelling at him then have her be so quiet.

"You got quiet. I was worried." he states just as quietly, his entire body responding to the way she is standing. The way she is acting. He is always so in tune with her and this time is no different. Kate nods her head, staring at him for a moment longer before she turns to look at the wall.

"I'll just-"

"I can't wash my hair all that well." she cuts him off as she stares at the wall and he realizes it for what it is. She is throwing him a line to get to her, and Castle grabs it as tightly as he can. Without words, he shuts the door behind him and crosses over to the shower. He kicks off his shoes, but that's it before he opens the door and the steam almost knocks him off his feet.

The water is hot. Very, very hot. Almost scalding, but he moves without thought. He puts himself between Kate and the shower head and he feels the water pound into his back and soak through his shirt within seconds. She is watching him, or more accurately she is staring at his chest, and he feels himself relax a little now that he is close.

Castle has fantasized about being in the shower with this certain detective many, many times, but it has never been like this. Somehow, though, it still feels more intimate than any of his wildest dreams when he starts to wash her hair without a word. His back is starting to burn from the water, but it's a fleeting thought.

Kate leans into his touch with her eyes closed as his fingers start to massage her head. It feels nice after all they have been through this past week in L.A. She has been so caught up in the case and her memories and in Royce that she almost forgot who had her back.

The same man that has had her back for about seven days a week almost every week for about three years (there is that time he left to go to the Hamptons, but she tries not to think about it and tonight it seems easy enough to forget). When Castle finishes washing her hair, he rinses it just as gently. By the time he is done all of his clothes are completely soaked through and his back burns, but he feels alive because he is standing there with her.

Kate is positive that any other man would've already tried to take advantage of her, but Castle is a special breed of man. He is a gentlemen when he is with her, despite all of his lewd comments and somewhat lewd behaviors. He respects her and her wishes and she needs that in him.

"Kate..."

His voice pulls her out of her thoughts and she looks up, giving him a tired smile. "Thank you, Rick."

He doesn't hesitate before he is smiling back, enveloping her body in his arms without a second thought. He dips his head down until his lips are just inches from her ear.

"Always."


	6. 06

_the lucky ones_

"Makes you feel old, doesn't it?"

Kate's voice right beside his ear did nothing to faze him. After all of these years together, he was more than used to her appearing and disappearing without a sound. He just knew. He always had.

"Which part? Alexis getting married or being on child number three?"

The glance he spared her way was quick, but he knew that she was smiling at him. The silence settled in between them as they both watched Alexis on the dance floor with her college sweetheart. It had been a long time coming, but it still felt odd to see his little girl in the same wedding dress that Kate had worn years ago.

"I see that Alexis isn't the only Castle on the dance floor," Kate stated affectionately. She was right, of course. His mother was twirling around the floor with Roy Montgomery as her dance partner. Looking around, though, he knew there would be another of his girls on the dance floor and he was right. McKenzie had convinced Justin, the oldest of Ryan's twin boys, into dancing with her. He watched them all for a moment before he felt a very familiar hand in his.

"Come on lover boy, let's go."

Chuckling, Castle allowed his wife to tug him out onto the dance floor.


End file.
